Jesus as Satire

I have long been skeptical of Christianity as practiced by the conventionally pious in places like Churches. But that did not exclude the possibility that some Jesus-like character must have existed, though his story would have been mangled beyond recognition. It allowed me to accept what I might like of Christianity as well-intentioned and even wise, and on some fine days, I even thought there might be someone ‘on the other side’ answering Christian prayers.
But the Flavian Hypothesis advanced in the book _Caesar’s Messiah_ puts that to rest,by my lights. For me, it’s the ‘smoking gun,’ of the Imperial Roman involvement not just with the Christianity that survived after Constantine, but even with the specific wording of the Gospels themselves. Till now most every form of Protestantism has assumed it could get rid of the stink of Imperial Rome simply by ‘going back to the Gospels,’ but it is not so.
I have recently become convinced of what I will call the Flavian Hypothesis of Jesus, that Jesus was actually a Roman Satire of a Jewish Messiah, and this was meant to be obvious to the Roman elite, but perhaps invisible to the religion’s intended subjects, the slaves and other non-literates. I recommend the book Caesar’s Messiah. I have read the so-called debunkings of this theory, and I remain convinced. It’s possible, if one wants to believe it, that Jesus existed exactly like the Gospels say, and he had a gift of prophecy, and he tended to prophesy about what Roman Armies were going to do to the places he went to in a few decades hence. But to me, since the Gospels and Josepus’ Wars of the Jews appeared about the same time, I reckon they were written in the same place, probably the Roman Collegium that specialized in foreign religions.
My purpose in writing today is not to convince anyone this thesis is true, but to report my meanderings and thoughts on the question of ‘what if it is?’
If Jesus is a Joke, then that actually settles a lot of questions in my head about why Christianity Does Not Work. I mean, I have been involved in made-up joke ‘religions’ whose rituals nonetheless ‘worked,’ and seemed to cause whatever change in attitude and outlook one was hoping for. But Christianity does not work. It does not promise much in the first place: ‘forgiveness’ for breaking rules that either everyone breaks, or that make no sense, or both, and a sense that you have a Personal God who can talk to you and help you with life. In practice it fails on both counts. People who really feel guilty and want to feel that forgiveness do not feel it. After the ritual, the communion, the Body and Blood, whatever, they still feel as depressed and worthless as they did when they came in, and just as likely to ‘sin’ again. They ‘talk to God’ incessantly, but especially in God’s Building, the Church. Occasionally God says things back, but when they are honest, they have to admit, God usually pops up with a single line Bible verse for and answer, which may be simply their own minds reprocessing and spitting back out what they have been crammed with and told is magic.
JR ‘Bob’ Dobbs is also a made-up savior of sorts, the central deity of the Church of the Subgenius, founded by someone I have partied with who goes by Ivan Stang. The difference is Stang will TELL YOU he made up ‘Bob’ and that ‘Bob’ is a Joke, unless you invest your own mental and ‘spiritual’ energy into ‘Making’ it true in your world. Then he funnctions as well as any Messiah or Saint or God anyone believes in.
Bob is Better, in fact, becasue the people who invented him actually intended Good toward the people whose lives he would touch. Jesus was invented by people who hated the Jews and their Slaves, and wanted to see both waste their time and energy on something that would actually be cruel to them, as the Romans were. So while you are free to ‘believe’ whatever you like, and it will be ‘real’ to you, if you make Christianity ‘real’ to you, it will actually work against you, and stop you from ever doing anything meaningful. That is, unless you look at it as the Romans did, as a tool to manipulate slaves with, not unlike the whip, the shackle, and the thumb-screw. Those who lead ‘successful’ Christian groups all take this fairly cynical view of the simple faith of thier child-like minions.
Also, in all those centuries of Roman Christian Deception, why didn’t the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, a Guardian Angel, Lion’s Roar of the Universe, or ‘still small voice’ ever popped up and said, “This religion thing is all made-up, and you can just as easily make up one that actually works as keep trying to grow something beautiful in the poisoned soil of Christianity.” None of them said that, or if they did, I never saw it recorded, and people of Faith would inevitably describe any such message as coming from Satan, and so they are covered either way: fill their heads with nonsense so the truth can’t ever get thru, and if it ever does, call it Satan.
So People of Faith are Enemies of Truth. By Definition. To have Faith is in some way to deny Truth. Period. What Truth is your Faith a denial of? That should be somewhat obvious. Maybe each of us is Alone in the Universe. Most people we talk to only mirror back meaningless banalities, and when we talk to that which is above us, all we get back is an echo chamber. Even with religion and with friends we are not really less alone, but only bask in the temporary Illusion of not being alone. Sounds terrifying, but on the other hand, if you can get to the other side of that fear, to where being all alone and meaningless and temporary does not scare the hell out of you, you function as an adult in a world of children.