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Month: December 2012

Karma = Carmen

Karma = Carmen.

Your Life, your Story, (Karma, Dharma) equals your Song (Carmen)

And there are no wrong notes, only unresolved tonal structures.

Sing. Play. Live.

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12 20 12

Things that are happening are too personal and too inner-mythic to relate without being overcome by the seeming narcissism of the exercise, and yet that really is what is important, it seems. Fish net knots and truck lines are only the stuff of a time but the Human Drama, the reality of Karma, they are the real Stuff of a given age.

Do I think this is so great?

No, but it is authentically mine, and I seem  to live at the cusp of an age where on one side the authentic self means nothing and on the other side it means everything.  Again that sounds like narcissism, but in our times, anyone who says torture is wrong puts their personal morality ahead of the national imperative.  So you have to be willing to stand against the Nation (group, collective, Other) if you are to stand with Humanity or Spirit.  I  know, everyone but me has a clever way to parse this.  They say ‘America is the Last Best Hope For Humanity.’ which sounds good.  And if you accept that it means anything done in service to America must be OK. I can’t accept that.   Rightness or wrongness is in the structure of the action in its own context, not what club it represents.

 

(I always type ‘menas’ and maybe that is My Own Word that -means- what I want it to -mean- because there is a concept I mean to communicate which does not have a suitable name.)

 

I remember a Jr Hi Pep Rally where I thought, So these are the Heroes that are going to bring victory.  The Bullies.  The guys they are playing against are probably the bullies at their own school.  What do I care who wins? Actually, it’s better for -me- if they all hurt each other really bad. A knee goes the wrong way, and there is one less jock asshole in the world.  I was a meanie.

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It was like this.

I remember thinking, It sure does Suck that the same people who made Christmas hell for you when you were young get to make Christmas hell for you every year when you are grown up too.  Then it occurred to me one day my father would be dead, and I wouldn’t have to deal with him at Christmas anymore. Then I said, So am I really resigned to Christmas sucking every year till the old man dies? And I decided NO. He had ruined about 40 Christmases at that point. That’s enough for any kind of ‘healing’ to take place if subjecting myself to that was somehow healing. You reach an age where filial obligations are not absolute.  My father has always made it clear that my whole existence was a waste of his time, and I have no wish to waste any more of it, and I SURE don’t want him wasting any more of mine.

 

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We must be right, or God would stop us.

The underlying assumption is that American kids are more human than others. Others are just inconvenient people who would get with Our program or at least get out of Our way if only they were ‘rational.’ Fact they are still there when we arrive is enough in itself to show they can’t be reasoned with and deserve everything they get, right?  And I guess that differs from Stalin or Hitler only in that unlike them we are US and that means we are Right. Or God would stop us.

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